Looking On The Bright Side

I've been in my feelings on here for a while now, so I kind of feel the need to lighten things up a bit before my blog becomes too much of a soap box about my life. On the other hand, at its core, this blog is a diary that chronicles my life's ups and downs and unfortunately, I've been in struggle mode. (Sidenote: Not complete struggle mode, I've dropped 41 pounds, had some wins at work and bought my first car!) That's why having a space like this to flesh out my thoughts has been so important and therapeutic for me. I'll continue to mix in some light-hearted posts but today I'm back in my feelings. Sorry, not sorry. 

Now that I'm on the heels of my 28th year on this earth, I want to do everything I can to make it the best one yet. It's time to be intentional and for me, that means being more self-aware and moving with purpose. It means wiping off the fog around my life and seeing myself for who I really am. I remember saying that I wanted to write because I wanted to give a voice to the unheard. Lately, I've come to realize that I can't do that when I don't even know what my own voice sounds like. 

What am I going to do to find that voice?

Here's why this post is titled looking on the bright side. Even though I'm not in the best place right now, the fear of the unknown is slowly turning into excitement. My life these last few years has been steered by where someone else placed me and now it's steered by ME. I've been in a bubble for far too long and now that it has popped, it's time to become a student of life again. 

Through reading, writing, sharing and really living I know I will find the voice I seek within. Out of those things, reading really sticks out to me. I used to love to read and now like most of us, I might read an instagram caption if I'm in the mood. I've been trying to take notes from the self-aware Queen, Myleik Teele because she's always dropping valuable gems. She said something about reading that has stuck with me. To sum it up she correlates reading with self-confidence. Basically, the more you read (know) the more value you can add to your life and others. I know, it's a basic concept that still goes over people's head.

 I've had one too many conversations where I resulted to an emotional response or couldn't properly stand in my opinion, simply because I wasn't confident in what I knew. I'm done with feeling fragile, as if I'm a new student walking into class for the first time, late. By this time next year, I hope to be standing in front of the class, with a frizz free twist out, my shoulders back and a voice of assurance.